Across the fire I saw you it has been over a decade and it felt so good . Today I took back my power by surrendering and being venerable in a circle of women that supported me. .
Today I released you. I have tried in so many ways so many times today felt different it felt complete.
I used to write it was my only outlet and then my most private thoughts were violated with the best of intentions. I stopped writing that day I no longer had an outlet. It wasn’t intentional writing no longer felt safe. Today I found that poet the storyteller my safe place.
I was reminded why I respect my daughter’s privacy . My daughter and I have a complex relationship. She came into the world a 30yr powerful women I was a 16yr scared & insecure girl. I feel like I am finally catching up.
We are completely different people what we have in common is the way we process life on our own. I don’t get to participate in the process she struggles with something and figures the best solution and I get to hear about months even years later. I use to wonder what I was doing wrong ? All I knew is that is what she needed and I respected it. When I got out of my own way I realized that is how I am I don’t let people in while I am processing.
She has complete privacy and at times its scary but I never wanted to take her safe space away so I don’t look through her drawings unless it’s offered. I don’t read her journals even when I am so tempted to see what’s going on in her world.
Now that she is an adult she shares and is allowing me to be part of the process and I am so grateful. Unschooling creates a deep bond but it does not change who your kids are. So if you have a private kid that processes things without you it doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means that you are supporting their needs by keeping their safe space will create an even deeper bond .