So what’s it like to be a mommy to an intense kid?
Grab your wine and enjoy the ride. This post is the ugly truth of having an intense kid. This is for the moms that are tired of the judgement & all advise of what they should be doing. Because until you have an intense kid you have no idea what’s its like.
Meet the little man that runs the house and our lives. He challenges me to follow the peaceful parenting principles I practiced with Jade and Dylan . He is the child that is the most like me and his intensity has shown me the the best and worst of myself.
I respect his will and even though it would be easier for my day to day to break him like a wild horse I know he is gonna need that will later in life because I did. I didn’t realize it until I had him but I am my mom’s intense kid. My will has pulled me through some very bad situations. It has also given me the the gift to go after what I wanted despite others opinions or set backs.
Growing up and even now the people that love me treat me like a problem that needs solving . Like a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit and it really sucks. I don’t try to be difficult but I will also not go against what I believe. Which cause issues because it would make everything easier if I could just get with the program.
Because I know how ugly this feels I am really not trying to do this to my son but it is so difficult because after a full day with many melt downs I am depleted . Intellectually I know he is overwhelmed and he needs my patience but patience is what I have always lacked.
There is no negotiating with Logan there is only his way. My kid is the kid in the playground I use to judge. Logan went through a phase of looking for the biggest kid his age and punch them then stand there waiting for a reaction or kissing the girls going down the slide. Which people have told me is cute. NO it’s not I believe CONSENT & VIOLENCE are things taught young.
His melt downs usually happen when he is not getting his way or at his frustration of not being big enough to do something or skilled enough in wining a game. All kids get upset at those thing but with intense kids there is no calming them down you have to ride it out. Once he has an idea there is no stopping him. My only saving grace is that I can still pick him up and move him . The fact that one day that won’t be option scares the hell out of me. He has always functioned on minimal sleep which means I stay up with him until 1am most nights. I have been sleep deprived for almost 5yrs .
The flip side to my intense kid is he is so charismatic ,loving and self -confident. Everything is such an experience with him. He loves talking with people the people that don’t like kids are his favorite. He loves an audience and being the center of attention. HE is my world changer.
I know what some of you are thinking be the parent , spank him , put him in time out , take away something he loves , stop complaining, yell , be consistent ect. I have tried just about everything and guess what it doesn’t work because of his will getting what he wants is all he sees.
So how am I surviving him?
There are days I go into my car , turn on the stereo as loud as it will go and scream . It’s those times I am reminded why Logan loves to scream it feels so dam good.
A cocktail makes me more relaxed and a better mommy.
I let him be in charge of his feelings I use to say stop crying use your words but I would never tell that to my husband or friend why is it okay to tell him? So instead I tell him I will hold him when he is done throwing himself and put ear buds in my ears on turn on music or audio book.
There are days I lock myself in the bathroom and cry because I feel I should know how to make it all better and I don’t .
Self care & seeking out other women for support has been new this year.
For all the mamas and daddies out there that know the struggle know you are not alone. Supporting your your intense kid is the best gift you can give them .