Logan slept in his own room last night. For the first time in 23-yrs my husband and I had the bed to ourselves in our home.
Our kids are spaced so far apart the only reason one kid left our bed to their own room was because another kid came into our family.
Since Logan's siblings are so much older than him he wants to be grown too. What prompted this change ? Logan has been all about design lately and he talked about having his own room. Logan is our strong willed kid he is so different then our first two kids he is the kid that runs far ahead of us and never looks back to see if we are there. He leaps before he looks an once he makes a decision hell or high water he will will it to be so. So why did think he wouldn't sleep in his room the first night? He went to his room read his dad a book , I went in to tell him he did not have to sleep in his room right away he could take his time getting use to it and told me I am fine gonna try it turned over got comfy & fell asleep.
I felt like I had let him down when I got to my bed and I was really trying to figure out why? He was fine even excited ! I figured out I was grieving the loss of one of my mom roles. A role I have been playing since I was 16- years old. Co-sleeping has been a way I have kept my babies safe & connected. It has been an extension of my mothering.
And the truth my husband and I so needed our alone time. I have often get ask how do you have sex if there is always a kid in-between you ? Sex does not just happen in bed we have gotten creative. But we were both missing just holding each-other as we feel asleep or having conversation that were hard to have when the kids were around. Last night falling asleep in his arms hit a reset button on our 19 year relationship.
Logan is our last kiddo we have really enjoyed everything knowing how short lived it all it is they grow up so fast. While he was co-sleeping with us he stilled reached out to feel for us or he would wake up so that is partly why I did not think moving to his own room would be so easy. It was a reminder that this is part of our unschooling journey he was ready , we supported his decision , did not make it mandatory.and he grew into something new.
I am still surprised on finding the connections that reach far beyond educational choice in the unschooling life we choose. It it has helped us create connected relationships far from the ones I grew up with. I have learned from raising an adult is losing myself while trying to be the perfect parent is something I am more intentional about not doing. I am once again redefining what motherhood means to me , how I am choosing to navigate it and who Tiffany the person without a label of mother & wife is?