COMING INTO RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS {EPISODE 2}

Updated: Sep 21, 2020




COMING INTO RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS {EPISODE 2}

This episode we are kicking with my homegirl Laurie we are talking about her role as an educator in the public school system and her transition into homeschooling. We discuss how we came into relationship with our kids and response to a facebook post about parenting advice.


Trigger warning I am talking about my abuse and the fears it created in raising my daughter. I want to make it clear that I am not victim blaming the use of the word "allowing" is me being honest of where I was as a twenty year old single mom navigating parenting. Our fears are not always based in correctness So before you come for me please know I will always choose to my authenticity sharing from my truth even when its uncomfortable.

Enjoy raising empowered people ! Your Host Tiffany Sandoval

LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

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Transcript

Tiffany

Welcome to the homeschooling homegirls podcast. Join us as we take up space by sharing our BIPOC experiences in the homeschool unschool world. I'm your host, Tiffany Sandoval. I spent most of the last 19 years in the homeschool unschool world listening to the advice from narratives that did not include me or anyone that was not from the white or white adjacent lived experience. This podcast is about elevating the voices that for far too long, have been silenced in the name of white fragility. My hope is that by sharing our stories, others can see that homeschooling and unschooling is one of many paths to raise empowered, educated people. stories will be shared from lived experiences, not theories, and different perspectives are encouraged to grab your coffee or your cocktail. And join us as we expand our perspectives.


Welcome this episode we're kicking it with my homegirl Laurie, and we're going to talk about her role as an educator in the public school system for transition into homeschooling. This conversation was sparked when I read her response to a Facebook post about parenting advice. And I thought it was a really good conversation to have. Because a lot of the parenting advice out there is about creating safer spaces for your kids by putting parts of yourself away. Lori's a homeschooling mom of three, the editor of the homeschooler post. You can find her on Facebook groups under freedom circle, and you can find her on Instagram with the hashtag, teach love. Join us as we talk about the education system and how we come into religion. ship with our children on our homeschool journey.


Lauire

Hi, I'm Laurie, I'm a homeschooling mom. I'm a person in the world when you exist as a whole person, and you have to introduce yourself as one thing. It's like,well, who am I Vanna in a soundbite, right?


Tiffany

This idea that we are what we do like who we take care of how we provide for people how that's not really who we are, but we've been doing it for so long that like we who is Tiffany who is Laurie, without it being tied to a person or a title. I totally get that. So I reached out because I will I really liked that post you posted on there. That topic he posted about being honest with our kids.


Lauire

I could read it ? Scchools will announced fall plans soon. I imagine everyone will be unhappy. Remember, you help determine your child's out attitude. Be angry or sad in private, discuss your frustrations away from your kids set them up for success by teaching them to make the best of it. Be a sounding board for their worries and disappointments, but stay positive and model perseverance.That's just so much garbage to me. Especially that part of, you know, just just be angry or sad and private, like,how do you hide these types of emotions from your kids? And if we're setting them up for success in the school system, and it means we have to be private about the true feelings of this pandemic and the worry What does that say? for our kids? And what does that say about success in this system? That worries me.


Tiffany

Raised and the trauma I was raised in, we were all instructed to not have feelings, basically. And so when you're raising children, and especially you're trying to reach people that have autonomy over how they feel, a lot of the times I did that, like I, all my kids saw me do was retreat. That also damaged the relationships because they saw me like disengage, and they didn't understand why. And so to me, I'm like, well, best of the two evils. With Logan, I've learned that it's okay for me to be angry that it's okay for me to have feelings. It's not okay for me to take them out on anybody, but for them to see that I have them isn't bad.


Lauire

Right, right. And, and I yeah, I grew up similarly. We grew up around a lot of domestic violence. And it was how do you leave domestic violence? How do you leave somebody you love if they're hurting you? And her answer was always you stay angry. Because when you you're angry, you're not vulnerable. And so you stay in that anger and you move past everything. And you're, you&#