Updated: Sep 21, 2020


Welcome to Homeschooling Homegirls episode four - This episode we're gonna be talking about gaming, which is usually a hot button about how much time kids are usually on their devices and the value parents often place on gaming. This was actually in response to Ted Talk listed in link section below. The article is really well written and it touches a lot of great  points. But what it got me thinking about the fact that parents perspectives are usually shared the and I thought it was really important to hear  the gamers  perspective,   Dylan started gaming around seven and is now seventeen so he has a lot of experience and perspective to share. Dylan talks about what being unschooled is like , things he would change,  roads that gaming led him down.  So Join us for this episode and see the transcript in the blog post!  

Enjoy raising empowered people ! Your Host Tiffany Sandoval



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Tiffany 0:00

Welcome to today's show where I will be interviewing my oldest son, Dylan, welcome to the show.

Dylan 0:06

Thank you, mother.

Tiffany 0:09

We're gonna be talking about gaming, which is usually a hot button about how many how much time kids are usually on their computers. And it was actually in response to this post, and I'm looking for Hold on. It's the title of the TED Talk is stop thinking of your kids gaming time as wasted time. And here's why. And I think it's really well written and it touches a lot of points. But what it got me thinking is a lot of this perspective that's being given is always usually from the parents perspective. And I really thought it was important to hear from teens perspective, because Dylan started gaming at a very young age, and he's 17. Now almost 18, and he's still very actively gaming. And it does, from my perspective look like sometimes he's doing nothing. But then we talk and I've learned like, wow, all this stuff's happening. So I just thought instead of it being another parent perspective, It'd be interesting to hear his perspective. So that's what we're talking about today. So Dylan, do you remember your like, earliest memory of gaming?

Dylan 1:08

I was playing with Dad & Jade, my sister, we were playing a legend Zelda game. And it was time like, flew by game we played it for hours and hours and hours. And it's just like, so invested when I got as I got older, to the types of games I played changed a lot, but I always have t hese early memories, which is, you know, a family you know, playing games got me into it .

Tiffany 1:34

It's funny because like our cats, namely, the kids still have like a old we set up downstairs where they still play together. And it's something that they've all shared. Like I've never really participated too much I get dizzy watching all the movement and so I do feel sometimes like it's like an outsider thing, which is really weird because as a kid I really liked like, I think it'd be I when I think of video games you think of like the old Mario and dechaine and Atari stuff. And that is so knowledgeable Looks like now when I watched them play it's almost like watching a movie. Do you remember the first time that you gain like in an online space with other people?

Dylan 2:07

I was, like 6 or 7ish. Like when I started playing Minecraft and then Counter Strike with a lot of my friends and that's fun to just like mess around Its a really cool way to make connections. However, if you're really competitive person, you could be really good at it. But you know, like messing with your friends is like a big part of it.

Tiffany 2:30

So I remember wondering like when you're a little like you could say you start gaming like six seven. Like you didn't really sit down for much of anything except if you're gaming. And like I remember wondering like how am I gonna get this kid to like learn to read and like I think through Minecraft because you were talking and typing. We helped you a little bit and all of a sudden like you were doing it yourself. did it become much as natural or just just because you wanted like what drove you to like, do you remember what learning to read? Or was it Just like something that happens?

Dylan 3:01

It was natural, I guess like it really depends on the person like I pick up things really fast if I'm interested in it, but at the same time if I'm not interested in something it's so hard for me to learn it like the second he gets any of my attention they'll probably call them my focus into it but i think i'm very good natural learner. And I was something I guess the game really helped with since it was like a necessity to understand what was going on. Like when I was playing a mini game or whatever, like I wanted to know. I had to pick it up you know, to keep playing .

Tiffany 3:30

In this article, they talked about the importance of leveling up and why sometimes it looks like your kids been sitting in the spot for days because they're all about leveling up wherever there are in the game. It seems like that stressful,

Dylan 3:46


Tiffany 3:47

I don't know, I guess to me to sit in one position Is leveling up like is there I guess to me, it seems like there's a lot of failing and leveling up because I believe like we learned so much in failing, does it feel like failure or Does it just feel like a challenge? Or does it feel like both ?

Dylan 4:02

In the moment? It's kind of both, like, my mindset, I had to change it from really negative, like whenever I lost or like a take a loss. I wouldn't really like look at what I would do. That's I started streaming and then I started like recording like my game plays and looking at it back and like failure is something really, this could sound stupid, like failure is like really failure when you don't try to find out why it didn't work or like, why why you failed. You know, like, once you start looking at why you failed, you can actually learn from it.

Tiffany 4:28

I don't think that's true, but I think that's so valuable. I think that's so valuable that we've done in business like where we got we found success was like looking and like picking apart all the failures. And like adjusting

Dylan 4:40

Ranking Yes, like his ranking system and games. Like when I started out playing games, it was more just like some fun. But then as I started growing up, I got more and more competitive. I wanted to start playing more like it's like online games. So there's a lot of stressful factors that turn gaming from fun into that feeling more like a like a job or a chore just Funny like a been playing valor And recently, I've been trying to climb to the top rank and I'm stuck in the ranks immortal one into which are like right before the highest ranking could get and then it's really stressful to be so close and then a fall down and I have to climb up again there's some days you're just used to having your off days is like I've been playing at like high ranks and a lot of games in the past three issues at a certain point it stops becoming fun, and it's more like okay, I'm just I'm trying to be the best. It's like a sport. You know, like sports can be fun when you're playing with friends. But if you're really trying to be good at it, it's like kind of a will get annoying sometimes.

Tiffany 5:34

Okay, so when I first heard the term eSports I like what you've talked about, like having to learn another language to play with other team members in different Oh, yeah. is can you talk a little bit about that?

Dylan 5:44

When I was playing Overwatch for for two years, um, I was in some Semi Pro teams. Not everyone in those teams would know English or they'd be from all over the place like I was subbing for some teams. And I would have to I'd have to like pick up a little bit of the news. So Korean is something that I tried picking up for a bit then I dropped those I only picked it up for like a week but just being able to say the characters names and like what position like I just enough to get by, you know, I didn't have to learn like an entirely new language to do it but it's just like just get like get my point across

Tiffany 6:17

the thing is like kind of the way the world works right like if you need something enough to get you by to get to the next thing.

Dylan 6:23

Yeah, I mean, there was one I did stick with it was French that I that I was really interested in and I pursued that one for like longer.

Tiffany 6:29

Yeah, remember that you're really into that. How do you handle like the stresses that you were talking about? Like, there's some like tools that you use?

Dylan 6:38

Recently, I've been playing other types of games or like just taking breaks. Like I'm someone that can't really watch like TV and sit still. I like doing I like interacting, whatever I'm doing or watching. So either just taking a break. Relaxing is probably the best thing to do. But I've been just playing other games that don't require competition games. I could just sit back, relax and like Let my mind rest for like an hour get back into it because like if you're trying to be good at a game you can go at it like 100% all the time if you want but you're not going to like improve that much if you don't take breaks to like absorb all the information then it's like not gonna get you anywhere.

Tiffany 7:13

I thought it was weird when I first started hearing you guys say like you guys were watching other people play games is mean now that I know a little bit more it's like you're watching for strategies or things to improve on or change or try is that right?

Dylan 7:30

It's like watching anyone that's anyone that's like big is better than you at something like even if you like an example when I when I used to get like parkour class and I would see the instructors do all these like crazy things right? It's cool to watch. It's like Oh, how do they do that? Like Like I want to ask them like I want to know like that's why I like watching stream so I used to watch streams a lot because I would watch all these people better than me and like ask them questions and like what they did see like improve or like looks like their thought process. Like it's cool to see people like do things better. You think it's always a cool thing? I mean, depending on the answer,

Tiffany 8:04

Do you feel like it's more accessible to like in an online space like that and the like in the gaming community, like, Are people more willing to share their tricks of the trade or theirs?

Dylan 8:12

Yeah,I think because a lot of it just comes from playing. Like, it's cool to see like, watch streams and see what these good people are doing. But you also I like having my own like play style, doing my own thing. So I don't like to copy exactly what they do. But I like having it in mind. Right. And I haven't seen anybody be secretive and keep like, Oh, this is like, this is like the key to becoming good at games, right? It's like you have to put in time in it and work smart.

Tiffany 8:36

What's one thing you wish I would have understood about your gaming and like maybe I was telling you to, like do something else.?

Dylan 8:44

it's understandable because like, as much as it can be beneficial thing. I think it can be detrimental. I know a lot of people that just can't control their temper and they're playing and that's something you have to get under control are also the two issues you spending lots of money on new keyboards. But I don't know, I think you're right. You're very understanding of it. And I appreciate that. But that's not the case for everyone out there. If your kid is having some, mental obstacles from the game, then don't like do things like oh, I'm going to turn it off or like add more stress to the situation. It is trying to, like put to alleviate the stress, but if they're being like, rude, and just like, you'll have your method, I guess.

Tiffany 9:29

I don't think you've ever rude anything. So who's your best suited? And like, I know, like, sometimes we'd go somewhere and you're like, I gotta be back because we're gonna play in this game or tournament.Oh, yeah, that's right. It's one tournament.

Dylan 9:40

Yeah, like, Oh, that was like to be on time.

Tiffany 9:42

I think you really made it a priority. That was kind of where I saw you growing like, oh, you're prioritizing like, you made a commitment and you're prioritizing it over an event or something. Yeah. Like, I guess his parents like sometimes were like, Where's this leading to? And I think I've been able to organically see it like when you learn to read, I could tie it To like tangible things, right. And then Logan's also started gaming at a very young age on an online space and you were gaming online, but like I didn't know enough to be worried about who you were in talking to with Logan. He goes from like zero to 60 in anger, and frustration when you can get somewhere or do something, and feel like we had recently the issue where like, I had to ask his friend's parents to like unfriend him because I couldn't figure out how to do the game. I feel like yes, you and your friends mess with each other, but I didn't hear that same language. You guys weren't hateful towards each other or hurtful like you guys mess with each other but maybe in a gentler way, or is that just my recoloring ?

Dylan 10:42

From Remember, it wasn't ever that bad, but it is a different time from from then I don't know how his friends talk to each other. It's like it all really depends on the group. There's always gonna be those those friendships that are a little bit more toxic, I guess. But I don't remember ever being like that. It was always like,

Tiffany 10:58

yeah, so I think I had that worry. So what Do you think like for people like me know, or that are parenting like Logan8yrs and he's like playing Minecraft and Roblox and all fortnight and they're all about it and you know, they're stealing and taking things and like killing oh no how it works,

Dylan 11:16

it's part of the game, it's like if they can't play if they can't handle it then they like or like that those things will happen they probably shouldn't play until they're older. It's like, it's like basically it's like playing soccer and getting by that somebody else take the ball before you right? It's like you're gonna throw fit or you can play right? Yeah, it's like gaming is all like a like a crazy like serious thing. Um, but like if you're gonna play a game that involves competition and you can handle that and it's like, you probably shouldn't you should play something that's more laid back and something you know, chill

Tiffany 11:48

In the article and I'm gonna keep I'll post the article in the show notes. Actually, I really thought it was like some really good points but um, when you started getting into gaming Was it because you wanted to or you wanted have something to talk to you about your friends everybody else was doing already to

Dylan 12:04

my interest. It was like a looked looked when I remember seeing somebody like playing Minecraft for the first time that was like a or something and I was like, Whoa, that's kind of cool. I want to try it and let it go shit I could play with my friends. That's cool too. ,

Tiffany 12:17

Is it weird when you're playing with adults and your kid ?

Dylan 12:20

No I do not think so I mean, maybe if you're like really little, if you're like, 10 ish around that like, like 13 I think once you're on like 15 and up, it's like, it's really not weird. But below that I can be you know, if you have like a really high voice sometimes people will like pick on you.

Tiffany 12:42

is there any creepiness when you're playing online?

Dylan 12:46

There can be There was a lot I've Um, I've like witnessed in small communities. That's why you just kinda have to be aware, you know, it's like your surroundings. And sometimes you can trust people and won't be like who you thought but that's like that happens in real life. That's not an online specific thing. Right so as long as your is somewhat smart, you're fine. Socially, like you know, you don't tell everyone all your details in life but you can get like, you can get like friendly with someone like, like on a meeting being strangers online is like it's like this I guess it's like this thing you should be careful with but you shouldn't be too cautious like you don't have to be too guarded you just have to be like aware you know? But like I've met like a lot of online friends that I've known for like four to five years they feel really close closer than like a lot of friends I've known in real life for a while and I trust them a lot it's cool I guess like know them stuff that's all through just being stupid and games and some cool connections.

Tiffany 13:43

Is there any like things safety wise like I don't know. I guess I'll just keep bringing your brother back up cuz he's in that age group that you think that like should be in place or should be talked about make gaming safer.

Dylan 13:56

I think a lot of people his age won't understand or like they won't care about what you tell them that sense they'll just be like Oh, it's like stupid, whatever. So I was kind of like that. You just have to watch them kinda I guess I would say like that's what I would do with my kid I was I would just be like, I wouldn't like stalk everything they're doing but if I if I see they're like being kind of like really secretive about who they're talking to be a little worried, you know, but that doesn't mean routinely like checking in checking out like a prison.

Tiffany 14:28

It's like,having trust. Yeah, they also feel like there's like a want to be liked or included. So that like you kind of still safe, especially when you're young trying to figure that out. Do you mean like your brother who's gaming like he's trying to be cool still, you know? Or like, sometimes he talks too much and then he doesn't like you talk back at them. But I get it like that's kind of a parent's to kind of monitor what's going on. And what I mean connection, I mean, like, okay, so you talked about like learning French and learning a little bit of Korean but then you also said started like creating logos and he started like learning how to program you know, talk about like, what did gaming lead you down those roads?

Dylan 15:08

Yeah,I think it was like, it's like it really is like first of like random interest. Like the games I make aren't really competitive. It's more games just like I can relax too. That's what I was trying to like, I was looking for a good game. I was just like, satisfying I really do not know how to describe it. Like I had, like the idea of satisfying in my head and I looked at some languages, and I kind of picked it up out of like, random interest. And I've been doing that for like three years. And was the other thing like making logos.

Tiffany 15:35

Like, I guess I'm just kidding. Sometimes as parents, we're thinking that like you're wasting time, especially if you're unschooling I think sometimes because ideas like you get free rein to do and choose what works for you. And so sometimes it's hard to see how learning is happening in those spaces where you're just saying, like, yeah, like you're in your room a lot and then or shut the light on what you're doing in there, right. But then, like, we learned by the conversation that happens, but for the parents They're barely like going down that road or they're maybe been doing this for a long time. And they're kind of frustrated because they're not didn't seem healthy. Like I guess if you could share some of like the things gaming led you to?

Dylan 16:13

Maybe this isn't like a gaming specific thing, but like being online just makes learning fun. Like, you don't really think about it in the moment, you're kind of just doing your thing but like, if you do stop to think about it, like after the fact it's like America, so it really depends on what you're doing online. But for me anyways, it's like them This makes learning like actually interesting, like something I'm involved with. And that's like, not the case. I feel so like a lot of things that well when I talk to like my friends that go to school, it's usually not the case that when they go to school that they enjoy learning or retain any of like, what they learned. That's like all the stuff that they actually like value they know it's like usually going online for like a gaming specific thing is you can learn things from games, but like online in general, we could put a lot more from

Tiffany 16:57

So now that you're like talking about college and I know it's interesting. For you to go to Lake like you're looking at colleges that have eSports teams.

Dylan 17:04

As as I'm getting older. I'm like looking at other options when you're younger, it sounds awesome to be in some gaming related thing. But like, as I'm getting older, I am seeing that I like, I don't want to be like, I don't want to play games competitively or like most of my life because it's not for me anyways, like I'm competitive to an extent. So like, it's not it starts losing a lot of kick to it. I don't know. Describe that, but everyone's different. Oh, well, yeah, I think streaming looks really cool. It's something that I'd be happy with doing.

Tiffany 17:35

I remember like walking past here and being like, what the hell like there's like a you're playing songs on a kazoo.

Dylan 17:41

You know,sometimes you just play up things for content, you know? Yeah. It's like, watching somebody play a game is one thing, but like they're not. They're not. They're not really doing anything unique or different. It's kind of boring. Sometimes you want to learn something different.

Tiffany 17:55

I'm always amazed like how your multitasking works. Because like sometimes I'll walk in your room and like you doing the string. You're playing Again, I don't know you're listening to something on the other ear of your ear, bud. And you're like managing it all. And you're having a conversation like, you know, I'm gonna do a stream. And so like think there's a lot of multitasking that I see you do. And now with Logan like it's where he was born with an iPad or switch in his hands. And I see him do the same thing like he's watching TVs on a switch. He's looking at something on his iPad. And does it get boring? Is it when you're not so visually stimulated like that?

Dylan 18:28

It's kind of it's created this environment where like, if I'm not focusing, it's hard to focus on one thing, I guess, since most of the day I am focusing on multiple things of windows, like the thing the fact that I don't have to let certain things feels weird, I guess if that's you're asking, but that's more of like a person thing. And so the thing I picked up from like,gaming.

Tiffany 18:47

I think it's a technology thing, because I mean, you have a tech company. So like we're obviously around tech all the time. But like, I mean, your dad grew up without the internet without cell phones like that came later in our lives, Then you guys were basically born into them. Like you always had a world of internet and always connected so when we go camping or we go somewhere where it's a forced option, we all kind of reset.

Dylan 19:11

It's fun I like it Camping is I guess one thing that's like not really hard for me I guess. Because natural ice there is so things like watching movies isn't easy for me. I get so bored because I feel like whenever I'm watching a movie and other it has me or it does you know and if it doesn't have me it's like a rather like be playing a game or like shooting

Tiffany 19:35

The same thing with like, like you guys don't watch TV. Like none of you guys have like ever been TV watchers. And like it's funny because I lose myself like I remember you standing in front of me going ding dong, like I can lose myself in front of in a TV show. Okay, so in the in the article it says here's here's a simple solution. start a conversation with your gamer kid by asking them these three questions. gamer What games do you play?

Dylan 20:03

Valorant , Overwatch ,Minecraft ,Stardew Valley?

Tiffany 20:07

Why do you enjoy playing those particular games?

Dylan 20:10

I Just like being competitive? It's like being good at things I do.

Tiffany 20:13

Can I watch you game some time?

Dylan 20:17

These questions are really weird. I don't know they feel super robotic.

Tiffany 20:21

its kind of hard when you're not a gamer like your dad games are used to getting way more than he does now. And so I don't so sometimes it's like watching you guys speak another language. Another thing you might want to talk about I think were that he didn't cover when I asked where gaming has led you like you know a lot about building like gaming PCs, like build some and made money building them for your friends, which is like a business. And then you're also like really tech support when people are gaming and having issues they'll call you and you'll walk them through how to fix

Dylan 20:51

Thats something from just being in this environment with like dad's business and all that kind of growing up around me I guess. I've learned a lot of things that I didn't really I didn't even think I was learning in the moment but I was hoping just passive learning from you maybe haven't valued your gaming, or we have dismissed it or is not a big deal. Like, how did that make you feel? Like something that they're really, like, bother me a lot is weird. Maybe when I was younger might have as I've gotten older, if you don't think so it's like whatever. Like, like, what is your question? Like, does that make me feel like sad?

Tiffany 21:24

So that maybe like, I don't hurt your brother, because you know how, like, angry and sensitive he can get? Like, what are some things I can do to like preserve our relationship where he feels like that it's just respected but then I can also say, like, dude, he's like, we need to go outside and when you do something,

Dylan 21:39

Just like, respecting that, but it really depends on the person like if you if you tell me to like stop and like I know your understanding about it and stuff then like, I'll listen. But if you're just like, if you're telling me to stop because you think it's like a dumb thing, like you're being mean, and I probably won't listen, you know, I'll be like, really, like, I'll push back more . But I think like, if If a kid & parent have like a an understanding, like a level of respect to each other, helping them be more likely to listen, but my mind that's like anything. Yeah, right.Yeah, like building that respect. I don't know how to do it. it just happens

Unknown Speaker 22:14

So some variables you've been unschooled your entire life You never gone to school while you went to OCSA for like summer stuff. . What do you feel like your overall now that you're at the end? Not learning but in unschool like you know you're gonna be teen a couple months like if somebody is curious thinking like should I be unschooling Should I not be unschooling my kid? Where do you feel like you've benefited and where do you think like if you could do it all over again you do some What else would you do?

Dylan 22:39

Like I wouldn't change anything I would just start everything like did earlier just so I can be better at it No, no. Which is like isn't really isn't really helping anything but like, toss your kid and everything. That's what I will do. And if like they don't like at least keep them like stuck to one thing that's maybe what I wish I remember I stopped doing a lot of th ings like Krav the parkour thing and I would get like angry at some of the teachers, and I would just not want to go. Just like, depending on like, how bad if the teachers aren't that bad just to make your kid do like, appreciate it in the long run.

Tiffany 23:11

So you wish that we would have kept doing some of those things. Yeah, you don't want to go?

Dylan 23:16

Yeah, but like at the same time, I'm like, I'm not like, I feel like I wouldn't be that different now, so you would be nice,but then happened to happen?

Tiffany 23:24

Do you feel like your game because since you started early, and then you got pretty much at high levels of like Overwatch and then now valor. Your gaming experience gave you life experience like it's helped you form out like your interest andwhat you wanted.

Dylan 23:39

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I've talked to like a lot of people about their careers and like what they did in college. Like it's kind of give me a perspective or like, what I might want to do and like what the reality of those experiences are like outside of just reading on the website of like the college. Like the jobs you know, it's it's given me like a There's like a lot of insight taught me a lot more than I would have learned otherwise,

Tiffany 24:03

When you get asked that question, Where do you go to school? What's usually your response?

Dylan 24:09

Home . There's a lot of misconceptions people will think like you really like, awkward, like, which I can be, or like, you don't really have many friends. But that hasn't been my case. You know, like, I keep saying everyone's different. My experience will be yours,

Tiffany 24:24

Yeah, I mean, I think that's what I get, like, you've always been really, really social. And your sister was like, so not social. Now that we're raising Logan, and he's social, but like, as long as he's the alpha, or he doesn't want to be social. I'm always I'm always open and wanting like feedback and like, what it could be different or better, but I think Jays kind of said the same thing. And you just said the same thing. Like if I knew everything I knew now kind of be doing the same thing.

Dylan 24:48

oh, like, I think I was only doing it sooner. And I guess obviously, if I had my brain now in my body, you know, but it's like theres not much I would change I'm really happy with my life is I think every reason why I said, I wish I was stuck in those things because I think every kid has those frustrations and sometimes they don't. It's hard to tell but they don't mean it when they say they don't want to do something. But they're just like they're so mad they don't think right in the moment. So it's like how Logan is Yeah, he's very in the moment emotionally

Tiffany 25:19

Yeah, right. And then like as a 30 second rebound, he didn't mean it

Dylan 25:22

Most kids do that.

Tiffany 25:24

I've been having this conversation with some of my friends about what education and learning means because I feel like especially with you is pretty free ranged . It really looked like you were in your room on the computer and I you know, what you did? And then you would check in and you would like, tell me about languages or want to book or want to take a class or if I offered to take class you're always more willing to say yes, or your sister was like, hell no. Do you feel like when you have to learn something, it's easy to figure out how to learn it.

Dylan 25:51

Yeah. Forget if I have to read something. I could pick it up really quick. Understand it.

Tiffany 25:55

This is a question I get asked a lot is like how are they going to learn to do the things they don't like to do? How are they gonna learn to do the hard things if you don't basically give them a curriculum and make them ?

Dylan 26:04

But like i there was times where I just didn't do anything you know. And then like it hit that I didn't like that I have to be doing something or else I just again, like we did like really like angry. So I started picking things up and I started learning because that's better to me than just not doing anything.

Tiffany 26:18

You're saying that sometimes you would get bored or like do nothing to get bored enough to figure out what in just pick something up and try.

Dylan 26:26

It's more kind of it's like, it's like, I saw that I wasn't really doing anything. And like, I feel like in my mind, I can only not do something for so long until I break and I have to find something, you know, there was like a two month period where I was doing anything and that I kind of just jumped started myself.

Tiffany 26:44

They call it like the power of the pause. And I think like because you guys are home, everything kind of loses sparkle. I know you're a lot like me sometimes like shiny objects. Like oh, let's go do that. Oh, wait, let's go do that. You know, I think especially with the pandemic like that really slowed us down because even though even though we homeschool we were out and about a lot

Dylan 27:03

Its been wierd not to see friends we hung out a lot in person so like not being able to do that is weird. And that's why I think this like online gaming and stuff. I was like kind of important more than it was before. because typically for your friends, like hang out the closest thing you can really do sides meet each other right now. .

Tiffany 27:22

Like you and Jax basically grew up together now he's on the east coast and you guys are still like gaming and connecting and like i think that that's kind of special. I see how it's created bonds. Maybe sometimes it works because like you're talking to people I have no idea. A guy always jokes when you were little like okay, you may think you're talking to like somebody your age but it's like 40 year old man his underwear, you know, and that was kind of like my way of letting you know like not everybody safe without it being like this big bad scary whoof. Like you met your first girlfriend online. And like do you feel like you can get more authentic relationships online sometimes in person?

Dylan 27:59

Thank you So but that's I keep saying so much like this all really depends because like it on like who you meet and online people are they feel more comfortable being themselves well I guess the judgment or something so sometimes you can make really genuine connections online than you can in real life but just like the same way you can do that in real life with online data you can I've known people for like five years. There's the amount of times I've like cut someone else there. We're weird just so rare. That's that's my experience.

Tiffany 28:31

Oh, it's so rare to cut people out. Yeah,

Dylan 28:33

like because like it did something like messed up or weird. It's never been like the case more than a couple of times.

Tiffany 28:41

If somebody was like anti gaming for their kid, what's the one thing that you wish they understood? Maybe it doesn't change their mind and maybe it doesn't do anything but one thing that like, what the best thing you felt like gaming's giving you?

Dylan 28:54

I feel like you've had a big impact and like most of my learning is like understanding of the world. I guess. It's to lots of save for it, there's no downside and just trying to understand it. So you don't lose anything. At the end of the day that you don't like it anything it's like really detrimental for your kid loves it. And good luck. Because like,

Tiffany 29:14

You feel like you're choosing to be right over a relationship you replace gaming with books, because really certain types of books saying that that's not worth anything and that's a waste of time. Like what hurt their interest? Is that the same thing like with gaming?

Dylan 29:25

Yeah, I feel like if you if you devalue your kids interests like that at all, they're not going to share anything with you and you're building grounds for like an unhealthy relationship. It's, it's just like with anything, you know, your kid said, like, Oh, I really like drawing, then you're just like, oh, that's stupid. Right? It's like how that makes you feel like if anything's you're interested in like in anything that makes you happy, its not healthy decision. in my opinion.

Tiffany 29:52

I'm proud of the young man you have become and keep moving on. Six feet. Tall baby. The other thing you The last thing I'm going to ask I didn't do this perfect. There's a lot of things I did but I agree are the things we learned from and had a conversation but like if you could sum up your whole unschooling life, like one word what's the first word that comes to mind ?

Dylan 30:14

One Word

Tiffany 30:14

Yes the first one that pops into your head?

Dylan 30:17

Freedom like it's like I really liked it because I had so much freedom that I was like allowed to succeed that I was able to like figure out what I want for my head was never I want to know

Tiffany 30:27

Everything that you guys tell me what I didn't do what I should have done what we did too much like it really helps me for the next kid and the fact that you guys are all spread apart like Jade six years apart, so all the things she told me not to do. I try not to do with you. And then everything you tell me like I tried to do with your brother. Like somebody that maybe doesn't maybe their kids are all spaced together and they don't really have the you know, or they only have one kid. Yeah, or they only get one chance at this like, are they starting late and their kids in high school now

Dylan 30:58

if they show interest Something like help them pursue support them because like people have made success out of literally everything. Like you can think of anything you couldn't think of. If they have interest in one thing support them, they'll make it work more often than not.

Tiffany 31:16

I love that.Oh, when I tell you about the podcast What did you think? Just generally you've been helping me with like the tech stuff on the podcast and I think you've all seen me jump into a lot of spaces like jumped to do this or jumped to do that. Is this just another thing I am jumping into or what do you think it was weird ?

Dylan 31:37

I think it was cool. I think it's cool you wanting to put your thoughts out there and get other people's like I want to support you like you have been supporting me right so this is a your interest. So I'll support you and if you decide that you don't want to continue it. Off to the next thing thats what you did for me, right?

Tiffany 31:52

The student has become the teacher Well, thanks for being on Homeschooling Homegirls. Thanks for kicking it with us today. I love you, baby.

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